


Run Run Run

by swells55



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: Atypical - Freeform, Casey and Izzie, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-07-13 15:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16020431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swells55/pseuds/swells55
Summary: Casey and Izzie just drove 3 towns over to get Cotton Candy flavoured slurpees...now what?





	1. Three Towns Over

**Author's Note:**

> hi y'all. i got on the cazzie train the moment it was somewhat canon. please like and review and i will write more. I LOVE THIS COUPLE. this is a continuation of the cliffhanger of season 2. i thought it was a monstrosity to leave us there, so i just filled in the blanks. enjoy!

 

They sat in that car for what felt like eternity- hands locked together, as if time was frozen so long as they stayed like this. Crystallised in this moment, where things made sense and external complications didn't exist. There was no boy problems or high school drama. No siblings that needed looking after. Just them two, "Newton" and Issie, and two cups of melted slurpee. Casey didn't know if her hands were sweaty or cold from the condensation, but it seemed an unspoken agreement that they wouldn't look at each other. Issie was determined to glare outside the car while Casey stared straight across the parking lot, fixated on a spot of black concrete.

Her hands were softer than she would have imagined, thought Izzie, who was hesitant to see how this situation would play out. But, she figured that if Casey was sweet enough to accept her lame "forehead promise" with little scepticism (not to mention almost kissing her), then she had to feel at least a little bit the same way.  _And what way was that?_  Fuck, she liked her. She hated that she ran faster than her but adored her sardonic humour, her weird and nerdy dress sense. Her ability to make her feel understood in a school full of snobby cat fights. She didn't have to pretend...and, if she was being honest, she never really liked Nate that much. Izzie had told Casey that before she even fully realised it.

Casey had a million things racing through her mind as well.  _This feels so right_. Despite this being the first time they held hands, intertwined fingers and all, it felt so second nature. When they almost kissed the other day, Casey was the one who leaned in...it was obvious that Izzie wanted her to. She wanted to make sure that there was something there. Casey thought back to all those times she was talking to Evan about her, so worried that stupid shit that Nate pulled would get in the way of their friendship.

"But I, like...love her."

After that night of the birthday party, Izzie made it clear that she loved her back...but not quite the way she had initially thought. She regretted kissing Evan right afterwards in front of her. It couldn't have felt nice to to see. After her mom walked in on them, Casey had started to message Izzie a bit less, but she hadn't stopped thinking about her since.

_Ah man...am I gay?_

No, she couldn't be. She had a boyfriend, and she did love him. She liked kissing him and having sex with him and hanging out with him. Evan was an amazing boyfriend, and he made the turmoil in her life infinitely less miserable. Yet she could not deny that from the moment she laid eyes on Izzie, she was drawn to her. She was sassy. Ambitious. Mischievous. Damn hardworking. And they had so much in common. They could talk for hours and hours on end about running, music, family...it was nice to talk to someone whose life was also a little fucked up. Evan was also so...okay. So "fine" and uncomplicated. When they lied in the blanket fort, a part of her had really meant what she said.

"We could stay here forever." And she would never forget what Izzie has said after.

"You're like, my new favourite person. Is that tragic since we just met only a little while ago?"Casey couldn't have said it better.

A ringtone pierced into the atmosphere in the car.

_**INCOMING CALL- EVAN TUBA.** _

Casey hovered her thumb over the mute button before finally ignoring the call. She looked over to see Izzie, impatient and uncertain, waiting for her to say something.

"Izzie, I-"

"Why didn't you pick up?" She was trying so hard to feign a casual tone. Izzie kept staring down at their hands, still clasped and resting on the stick shift.

"This is more important. I wanted to ... you know there like, this thing. There's a thing between us - and I have a boyfriend, and you have a Nate, and I like you so much and-"

"Her rambling was cut short by Izzie. Their hands finally released because now, Izzie's hand was on the side of Casey's face, tucking her unkept hair behind her ears.

"I like you so much too."

It's not like Izzie was talking differently, but there was something different. Perhaps Izzie talked like this to her the whole time, and Casey had only just realised how she was talking...

With love.

"You're not gonna ask me to do another forehead promise, are you?"

"Shut the fuck up!" Izzie playfully shoved her.

"Not that I don't want to, I mean, my forehead is kinda sweaty, and we still haven't taken off our seatbelts so it's gonna be kinda hard to -"

"Maybe I just wanted an excuse for our faces to be close."

Izzie unbuckled her seatbelt and put the slurpee down. Casey slowly followed suit. Their foreheads were touching once again.

"We promised we would never leave each other again, right?"

"Right." They nuzzled. Explosions of warmth exploded inside Casey's stomach...The last time she had felt this way was when Even had kissed her for the first time. A flowery scent of lavender was emanating from Izzie's hair. Casey got nervous that she smelled like the 7-11 hotdog she had scarfed down earlier.

"Can you promise that we'll be friends, no matter what happens?"

There was a slight pause. Casey knew it was a lot to ask. No one could tell the future and nothing was ever easy...but she had to hope that Izzie would love her no matter what. A friend...or more. Ultimately, Izzie put both hands on each side of Casey's face.

The kiss that followed was one that was long overdue. It was the one that was meant to happen in Casey's bedroom, after that first promise they made to each other. After she had called Casey, "my girl", and professed just how much she missed her in that week of confusion. Izzie had thought about kissing her before. At every sleepover, she would toy with the thought;  _What if I just did it?_...But then she remembered that loving boyfriend she had. The one that Nate never was. How she  _hated_  when Casey talked about him. With such genuine adoration. She didn't want to cause anyone any pain, especially Casey.

It was a soft and tender kiss that left both feeling high off a gateway drug. Their hands were together once.

"What does this mean?" Casey said through a huge smile. She couldn't help herself. A pant of guilt lingered behind the gush of happiness, but she'd deal with that later. Izzie took her hand and kissed it.

"I guess it means I like you. And you like me. So...maybe that's all that matters right now."

Casey's phone started ringing again.


	2. Slides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izzie shows Casey a secret.

Casey picked up her phone. Shit. She just kissed someone else, and her awesome boyfriend was now calling her to check up on her. She had lied saying that she had plans to hang out with Sam and watch some riveting post-graduation penguin live-streaming and that he probably shouldn’t come over since she had family duties. The truth was, when Izzie messaged her that photo of them in that blanket fort, she decided that she had to see her. Plus, Casey felt she owed to Izzie since she had been avoiding her messages recently. She let the call ring out and got a text seconds later.

 

 **Evan:** Hey. How’s the penguin watching going?

 **Me:** Same old same old. Can’t answer right now, Sam gets annoyed. They’re having a gay old time.

 **Evan:** You think I could come over afterwards? We can talk about how we HAD ALL THE SEX.

 **Me:** You’re so lame.

 **Evan:** I’m loving my post-coital glow.

 **Me:** You’re a dork.

 **Evan:** You love me :D

She did. Evan was so easy to love. During this textual interaction, Izzie watched enviously. _What the fuck am I doing?_ she asked herself.

 

“It’s just Evan.”

“Your boyfriend.”

“My boyfriend.” 

“Who you love.”

“Yeah, I love him.”

 

Casey felt like she was saying it again because she needed to believe it. She needed to remind herself that she was in a relationship, and that this thing with Izzie was wrong. Not wrong because she was a girl. Wrong because it was shitty to cheat on your boyfriend, especially all the shit she gave her mother about cheating on her dad. Shitty to cheat on someone like Evan, who probably would have never suspected her of ever doing.

Izzie looked rather discouraged after this third affirmation of Casey’s love for her stupid boyfriend. After what just happened, Izzie let herself have a little more hope…only to have it be crushed a few minutes afterwards. Would their relationship turn into intimate moments like this, followed by an irritating snap back to reality where Casey goes home and has sex with this boy she loves? Fuck that. It was awful seeing her with him. She had always felt distaste at his presence and only now did she realise that it was jealousy. She wanted Casey to be _her_ girl, not his.

“Hey Casey, do you wanna go for a walk or something? Just drop me off near mine. There’s somewhere I want to show you.”

“…I’m not sure if that’s a good idea Izzie. I need to talk to Evan.”

“Just for 10 minutes. It won’t take long.”

They drove in silence, letting the radio play pop music so that the silence wouldn’t provoke detrimental thought trains.

_“Hey hey you you, I don’t like your girlfriend_

_No way , no way, I think you need a new one_

_Hey hey you you, I can be your girlfriend”_

Izzie was texting her mom saying she would be home soon, and that she would pay for the babysitter tonight from her own pocket since she had plans to hang out with Casey. Her mom worked overtime most nights to keep her at Clayton and wouldn’t be home until 10pm. Her younger siblings were not an easy bunch and hated it when Izzie couldn’’t look after them.

When they got to her street, Izzie told her to pull over a few doors down from her house and lead Casey towards a large mess of bushes and trees on the outskirts of a nearby park. They went through all of them and were met with a fence that had a big gaping hole towards the bottom. Izzie crouched and went under it, gesturing Casey to follow.

“What is this place?”

The other side of the fence was what seemed like an abandoned playground, surrounded in dead grass and grey woodchips. Izzie went to lie down in one of the slides, which had an identical one right next to it. It seemed to fit her body just right. Casey tried to do the same, but she was a bit taller and her feet could touch the floor.

“I take my siblings here a lot. I found it a few years ago. No one really knows that it’s still here. I think they forget about it or something.”

She popped up and went towards a nearby bush. She came back with some chocolate bars.

“Want a Kit Kat?”

“Hell yes.”

They split the chocolate and stared up into the sky. There were no stars, just a clouds interspersed amongst a dark blue canvas illuminated by the moon.

“I’ve never taken anyone here.”

“Not even Nate?”

“Of course not. It’s my secret spot.” The wind was nice against her skin, rustling the rusty chains of the swings.

“Why am I here then?” Casey automatically started holding her bit of Kit-Kat like a cigarette, talking with a faux English accent and acting like she had just asked a sophisticated and mysterious question.

“Because I trust you. And I wanted you to know that.”

Throughout the whole night, Izzie found it so hard to look directly at Casey. It was too much. It was too much to say everything she felt, and it was even scarier that she had already said the things she said. She didn’t like feeling vulnerable, and knew that it almost never happened. It seemed like whatever Casey said now had the ability to hurt her, and she hated her for it. She didn’t want to think about her anymore. Why did she kiss her? Why why why? She got up and starting walking back towards the fence.

“See you tomorrow Newton.”

“Wait! Izzie! Where are you going?”

“I’m going home…and I think you should too.”

“Bu-“

“Your boyfriend is probably waiting for your call.”

She instantly regretted saying it as soon as she did. 


	3. We Need To Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey and Evan have a chat in Subway.

**_We need to talk._ **

Casey sent the message at 5am, finally finding the courage to press the send button after having typed up assorted drafts for the last 4 hours. She knew she had to tell him.

_Tell him what? That you kissed Izzie? Well, technically she kissed you, but you kissed her back, so that’s bad…That you have feelings for her and it’s confusing as fuck and you still love him but now everything is weird and different and I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m a shithead douchebag A-hole supreme who doesn’t deserve you!!!_

She really had no idea what was the right thing to say, and she didn’t know who to turn to. Casey had spent the last 7 hours mulling over Izzie and Evan. Did that make her bisexual? Did she want to have sex with Izzie? Sure, she thought Izzie was probablymost the beautiful and sexy person she’d ever met, and how she caught herself staring at her all the time, but it wasn’t so much a physical thing. She just wanted to look deep into Izzie’s eyes and hug her forever. She wanted to hold hands and get called “Newton” and have stupid running competitions in the supermarket, or see how good she was with Sam. Have silly fashion montages every time they went to the nearby Buffalo Exchange and watch dumb chick flicks while commenting on how outdated but iconic some of the characters are. And that kiss… that kiss was something else.

She had texted Izzie after she had curtly dismissed her.

**_Hey. I’m meeting Evan after practice. Meet me after?_ **

**_Ok._ **

In the morning, Casey felt like half a human person and half a huge mess. Barely able to pry open her eyes, she realised that she must’ve only slept for 3 hours. She had to get up for training since there was a track meet in a few weeks time, and she had to keep in shape to keep her scholarship at Clayton…especially now, since there was even more reason to stay there. She wondered where Evan was, and how he felt about the end of his junior year. He was probably sound asleep in bed, passed out with the video game controller in his hands, surrounded by empty candy wrappers. It was a Friday night without her, after all.

Casey loved running not only because it made her wicked lean, but it made her feel like she had control over her life, even if for the briefest moment. Suddenly, it was like the world was just a giant playground to run all over, around, and across. There’s nothing like knowing that your body was able to go anywhere it wanted, and that was the most liberation she could get these days. If she wanted, she could make like Forest Gump and run for months and months without a care in the world. It would be so good to just run away from her life right now- to not have to answer any questions. To just run until she no longer remembered why she was running to begin with. She fucking needed it.   
  
She took the usual path around the neighbourhood block and saw none other than Izzie, stretching on a nearby cul-de-sac.  _Goddamn it_. For some reason, Casey didn’t know what to say. What used to come so naturally had become tense. Were they going to talk about ... _it_? She wanted to choose her words carefully.

“Uh, good morning! Nice day isn’t it?” The phrase was comically hollow. Casey couldn’t believe that she was talking about the fucking weather.

Izzie rolled her eyes. She knew that Izzie also kept a vigorous training schedule especially after Casey joined the team. Sometimes they would even run together, but Izzie was more of a midnight runner than a morning one.

“I hate the mornings. How do you do this everyday?”

“The birds. They just obnoxiously sing the second the sun rises and that’s my beauty sleep gonzo.”

The birds were still chirping, but not nearly as loudly. Izzie smiled.

“I feel like I can sleep through anything.”

“You can sleep through any movie, that’s for sure.”

Izzie roller her eyes again and Casey playfully smirked. It was back.

“Wanna go to the track with me?” Izzie asked.

“Sure.”

They chatted about silly things until they reached the entrance of the school. It was a Saturday and it was deserted - exactly the way that Casey liked it. Without warning, the both of them started sprinting like crazy towards the field. Casey was taller and faster, but Izzie had been working on her sprints and managed to touch the tartan before she could. Winded, they both collapsed onto the floor.

In between pants, Izzie struggled to say, “Better watch it, Newton, or you’ll lose your edge.”

Casey chugged from her water bottle, unclicked the top, and then splashed Izzie.

 

“You’re so dead.”

 

The two of them started pelting each other with streams of water, and soon enough the both of them were drenched head to toe. Casey was trying to pour the rest of her water onto Izzie’s head, but had been met with strong resistance.

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

“Hey I’m doing you a favour. It’s very hot right now and I’m just helping you cool off.”

Izzie was holding off Casey’s wrist as the water bottle inched closer to her head. Then she had an idea.

“Holy shit, it’s Evan!” Casey froze and whipped her head in the direction that Izzie was looking in. When she saw that her boyfriend was indeed NOT in Clayton Academy’s track and field, she turned back to Izzie.

“That was so not fu-“

Izzie gave her a quick peck on the lips and started running again. She knew that it probably wasn’t a good idea, but damn did it feel good.

Casey sank the ground, dazed.  _Shit._

_—_

Casey saw Evan text back around 11am.

 

**_Is everything okay? What do you wanna talk about?_ **

**_Meet me at Subway around noon? We can get lunch._ **

**_Can you tell me what’s going on?_ **

**_See you at 12._ **

—

When Casey got to the Subway, Evan was already there, ordering a foot-long Teriyaki Chicken sub with extra cheese.

“The usual then?”  
“You know it.”

After Evan wolfed down his sub, taking a final sip of his Vanilla Coke, he set down his cup.

“Okay. What did you want to talk about?” 

“Um… Evan, there’s no easy way to say this.. But…”

This was fucking impossible. Why didn’t she make a draft of what she was going to say?

“But what? Is there sauce on my face?” He checked his cheeks for honey mustard.

“I..Izzie kissed me.” Suddenly, the carefreeness of his entire demeanour dropped and was replaced with confusion. 

“What?”

“She kissed me. Izzie.” It was clearly taking a while for Evan to process this piece of information, and Casey didn’t blame him - she was still processing too.

“What the fuck, Casey!”

“Whoa, hey! Calm down. Why are you being like this?”

“Well someone kissed my girlfriend! I have every right to be pissed off!”

“You didn’t react that way with Nate.”

“That was because I knew you didn’t give a shit about him! But Izzie…I know how much you love her.”

A pause. His eyes widened.

 

“Do…do you love her?”

Words failed her. That seemed to be answer enough.

“Did you kiss her back?”

Again, Evan’s questions were met with a guilty Casey, looking away from his confronting gaze. He seemed more sad than angry, but the fury in his voice was there.

“I love you.”

Evan’s face softened just a little bit, but the fierceness of his body language remained the same. He rubbed his temples and put his hands behind on his neck.

“So, what are you doing?”

“I don’t know.”

“I didn’t even know you were into girls.”

“I’m … I’m still working things out. I just don’t want to hurt you. Either of you.”

“Well Casey, it’s a bit late for that now.” Evan was putting on his jacket to get up and leave.

“Why don’t you give me a call when you fucking figure it out.” 

“This isn’t my fault!” Evan stopped rushing away and looked at her for a long time.

“Yeah. But it’s not  _not_  your fault.”

“What?”

“If it wasn’t a problem, you’d be saying that you feel nothing for her and that you love me and we would be laughing and sharing a M&M cookie right now.” Casey looked to the floor. Evan was absolutely right, and he knew he was. She would never forget the expression on his face when he stormed out of the Subway. So hurt. So restrained from not lashing out and yelling. She almost wanted him to punch her, so she could feel less guilty. But he didn’t, because he wasn’t like that. He was trying to understand, and Casey didn’t deserve it.

“See you later Casey.”

The Subway was empty except for their Sandwich Artist, who had clearly overheard every word that was transpired. Casey felt like she might have recognised her from school.

“Hey, are you alright?” The girl asked. After closing her eyes for several moments, she opened them and replied.

“Not really.” A ping and a buzz came from her pocket.

**_Hey, can we meet?_ **

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Ugh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey and Izzie meet to talk about the fight between her and Evan.

_Yeah. Meet me at your spot._

_Kk._

 

Not knowing what to do, she put her hood up and walked to where she said she would meet Izzie.

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck!_

She kicked a nearby can on the ground. It clattered and scrambled along the pavement pathetically. She continued to let out some of her steam by repeatedly punting the cola can on the way to the hidden playground. Finally, she shot it out into the street, where it was ran over repeatedly.

“FUCK.” She growled loudly. She didn’t even notice the little kid nearby, who was gawking at her for cussing. Casey quickly recoiled, apologising gruffly. “Sorry kid.” He pouted as he walked away.

_Ugh._

Why did the day have to be so fucking dramatic? It was barely the afternoon and Casey felt like she had just run a marathon.

Casey had to reflect a little - how would Evan recover from this? They had been going out for less than a year, but she thought her relationship was stable.

 

_That was before you fell in love with someone else._

 

For all intents and purposes, they were super compatible. He was sweet and patient, playful and attentive. Casey didn’t even know what he liked about her. Maybe it was because she wasn’t convinced by the whole “high school” mentality of caring about what everyone else thought. They were both somewhat casual misfits who just wanted to have a smooth ride through high school. The only thing that Casey really cared about was running, which she did for fun anyways. What did slightly always annoy Casey was Evan’s absolute aversion to intensity. He never had strong opinions. No specific interests in any particular subject…unless gaming counted. But even then, he only played mindless FPS shooting games where all you do is slaughter zombies with as many different guns as possible. She found it boring to hang out sometimes because all he would want to do was watch dumb sitcoms. Usually he let her choose their daily activities. But then again, maybe it was one of the things she loved the most about him. Having a brother like Sam made nonchalance extremely relieving.

Izzie, on the other hand, was a ball of energy.Determined to beat Casey, Izzie had made it so that both were training harder than ever. So much so, each had improved their record times since they became friends. She loved reading horror (she had said it made her feel alive to be scared) as much as Casey did, and had a drive that was uncommon in her other high school peers. Spending time with Casey inspired her to do something useful with her time, always doing something exciting. She had to guess it was because Izzie had so little time for herself as it was, having to be a default babysitter all the time. Every spare moment was precious. Casey remembered working for a month during the summer at a frozen yogurt store and found herself imagining all the things she wanted to be doing instead of serving froyo to people in a stupid uniform. When she did get off work, she would run home and do all the things…find new bands to listen to, sketching, clean her room. She couldn’t imagine what life would be like if she had to take care of Sam every single day. _Thank god for Mom. Thank god he’s the older one._

Casey went home and quickly changed out of her running gear. When she got to the secret playground, Izzie was sitting on the swings- the rusty chains made a crunchy metal noise.

 

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Want a push?”

“Sure.”

 

Casey felt about 10 years old again, pushing Izzie on the swings like this. It reminded her of her childhood best friend, Teri, and how she’d always push her on the swings. It dawned on her that she was obsessed with Teri when she was little, and felt such pain when she discovered that she had moved away after her dad got another job across the state. 

_Was that heartbreak?_

After a few minutes, Izzie dug her feet into the ground and made a grinding stop.

“How was your day?” Casey went to sit across her on the floor.

“Well, since I last saw you, I have a) had leftover lasagna, b) took a shower, c) had a really shitty fight with Evan, and d) made a new friend on Facebook.”

Izzie’s eyes narrowed.

“A new friend?”

“Oh, this girl Maria who worked at the Subway. She went to Newton with m-… You know what ? It doesn’t matter. She was nice. She kinda overheard our whole fight.”

Izzie had to ask. “What did you tell him?”

“That…you kissed me. And I kissed you back. And now…I don’t really know what to do about any of it.”

Why did Izzie think that Casey would somehow have answers? There wasn’t even really a question.

 

“I’m in such shit.” It was Casey’s turn to sit on the swing, her hands on her head and cupping her face in frustration.

“I’m gonna fuck everything up.”

Izzie couldn’t stand watching her like this.

“No, it’s not. You don’t have to do anything.”

She shot a look at Izzie.

 

“Excuse me?”

“I just…I’m just a little bit in love with you, but we can work through it. I know you love Evan, and I love you, and we can move past this. We promised we would be friends anyways and I can get over it. It’s just a stupid crush. We can go back to me and you just hanging out and you can still be with Evan. We’ll get over it and it doesn’t matter what happened these-“

“Of course it matters!”

“Why?”  
  
“Because I love you too, stupid!”

 

Casey knew that it was more than a crush. A crush is something of impossibilities. A fantasy that you could remove the expectations of reality from and freely feel anguish from the light pangs of unrequited love. This was different. This was a thing. It was reciprocated, as much as she didn’t really want to be the focal point of a love triangle. She felt like such a cliche. Izzie looked apprehensively at Casey.

 

“You…you love me too?”

“I…I mean. Yeah. Sometimes…a thing feels _so_ right. 

That’s what Casey said last time they kissed, Izzie thought.

“But you also love Evan.”

“Yeah…but…it’s not the same.”

Izzie waited for an explanation.

“With him, everything is easy. I can always expect a warm and fuzzy feeling with him. No surprises or bumps on the road. Just, smooth sailing. But you…you make me feel nervous. All the time. And we are so similar but also so completely different. You challenge me to be a better runner. You’re always debating with me about silly stuff that always makes me end up considering things from another point of view. Even the second you met Sam, you handled that _so well_ , and he usually hates new people.” Casey would be disgusted with herself if all the cheesy stuff she was saying wasn’t true. 

“I want to know everything about you, and take you to all these places…and give you things, and hold your hand, and all that gross romantic stuff that you see in the movies.”

It was true. She had never felt the need to make a gesture for Evan. He never wanted it either, but he had never inspired her to want to show just how much love she had. Izzie had just sat there on the swings, giving Casey a piercing look. She didn’t know what to make of it. 

“Well…say something!” Izzie got off the swings to join Casey on the ground. She put her head on Casey’s shoulder.

“I…I don’t want to fuck this up.”

“What do you mean?”  

“I don’t want to lose you.”

Izzie knew then that the initial hatred and animosity she had felt for Casey was an amalgamation of her unconscious attraction and jealousy. She had done some really shitty things. Leaving her helpless that first day of school, or telling everyone that she had pushed her on the track. Even getting the whole track team to turn on her when she refused to believe that Nate kissed her. Deep down, she knew that Casey was telling the truth…but the thought of Casey and Nate together had drove her mad because that just meant there was no way she would ever like Izzie back. .

Suddenly she was afraid that if they were to get together, would she even be a good girlfriend? But then again, she’d never been a girlfriend to a girl before. _Was it different?_ It had to be. She had never felt this way before about anyone, but the potential of having Casey, actually dating Casey- and that going wrong? She was the one person Izzie felt closest to. She was her favourite person.

“You won’t lose me. We made like, two fucking forehead promises.” They both smiled. As their hands intertwined again, they sat in silence while overlooking the playground. The trees rustled in the light breeze, and street noises from down the road became more vivid.

 

“Are you going to break up with him then?”

“I think..I think I have to.” Casey folded her legs into her chest and buried her head in her knees. 

“I really don’t want to.” Izzie kissed Casey’s head, trying to make light of the situation. She thought that if she got the girl in the end, it would feel better. It did feel good, but she had liked Evan. He was a sweet boy.

“But, I also want to take things slow.”

“Of course.”

“We probably shouldn’t tell anyone…just yet."

“Oh god, of course not.”

Casey looked up. “Of course?”


	5. Hush Hush

“Well, you don’t want everyone getting all in our business right?”

“True. I would like to leave Clayton with minimal scarring.”

“Plus, my mom would not be the most understanding.”

 

Casey frowned. She was starting to feel grateful for that disturbing chat her mother tried to have with her. At least she knew that her family wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if she wanted to date a girl. She could imagine Sam now.

“Actually, homosexuality is very prominent in the animal kingdom and it really makes no sense that human beings would be an exception.”

Then he’d talk all about the gay penguins in the zoos and how they are keeping themselves perfectly satisfied, despite not following the conventions of evolutionary reproductive behaviour.

“I’m sorry Iz. How do you know though?”

“Well, it isn’t her. It’s her asshole boyfriend ,Steve. My mom pretty much changes according to whoever she’s with... and Steve is one of those preacher men. They met at church.”

“Fuck.”

“I bet my mom doesn’t even give a shit. But now she’s all about this God stuff, and she’s talking our ears off all the time. I have to even undo the damage sometimes so my little brothers and sisters don’t get into their heads.”

It dawned on Casey that Izzie had never invited her over to her house. Nor had she ever met her mom. She had met her adorable little siblings though, but just briefly in passing at the supermarket once. It occurred to her that family might be something Izzie wanted to escape from. That was something Casey only felt occasionally. Suddenly, she was swelling with gratitude for her family.

“So...could we just keep this on the DL?”

“Yeah. I don’t need another reason to be noticed in school.” Casey sighed.

“I am so sorry Casey. I don’t know who wrote on your shoes but the moment I found out I wanted to apologise to you and that’s why I went to your party.”

“I’m over it.” This was partly true. She wanted to take her vandalised shoes and kick whoever did it in the face, but she was glad that it had forced Izzie to come to her senses.

“Those other girls suck. I don’t know why I’m friends with them.”

“Of course you do. If I wasn’t such a hermit, I would be too.”

“Once they get used to you they are definitely ... much more amicable.”

“Well, I’m your favourite so whatever.” They sat there for a while, and Izzie got comfortable, lying at Casey’s lap as they watched the sun slowly go down. Eventually, Casey got to her feet.

“Let’s go to mine. I love your secret spot but I like, can’t feel my butt.” She helped Izzie as she beamed at Casey.

They held hands all the way to her house. Casey put her hood up in case anyone saw them. She had always was tall and boyish anyways, and no one would be able to tell in the dark.

Lucky she did too, because someone did see them.


	6. Poor Boy

Izzie accidentally fell asleep in Casey’s bed and got up at 5am in a panic.

“Shit shit shit. I have to go pick up the kids at Grandma’s.” She jumped out of Casey’s embrace from the bed and into her shoes. Casey, still in a sleepy daze, barely understood what was happening before Izzie kissed her on the cheek goodbye in a flurry. Annoyed without her little spoon, and still half asleep, Casey checked her phone. Evan had replied to the text she sent yesterday. 

 

_Okay. I’m ready to talk. Meet me tomorrow?_

_K._

 

In her head, she groaned the whole way there, dreading what she had to do and say. They agreed to go to their usual diner to have breakfast, but not even the cheery diner atmosphere, jukebox music, and sassy diner ladies taking their order did anything to lessen the heaviness in the air.

 

“Evan…”

“Casey.

“I…”

“You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?”

 

Casey couldn’t bear to look at his sad puppy dog eyes. She felt like she had just kicked an adorable golden retriever. 

“I am so sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t even know. I do love you. I just…I’m just not _in love_ with you…”

“..anymore.” She added as an afterthought. 

 

Glassy eyes reflected back into Casey’s, on the verge of tears. He refused to let them fall though.

 

“Hey. I’m not an idiot. We were up and down in rough patches ever since you started going to Clayton.”

“It has nothing to do with Clayton.” Evan looked incredulous.

“I mean, yeah okay, maybe it has everything to do with Clayton, but I didn’t have a choice! And you have to know that I never wanted any of this to happen.” At the last part, she tried to reach for his hands. They lied dead on the middle of the table, neither rejecting nor accepting this gesture of comfort.

“Well, I’m not in love with you anymore either. You’ve changed.”

Surprised, she could only wait for a further response.

 

“Yeah. You’ve changed. You’re Newton now. A Clayton girl who is ashamed of where she comes from and cares so much about what other people think.” Casey flashed back to when Evan had met his Clayton friends for the first time.

“You said you were over that.”  
  
“Well, maybe I was lying. Because I loved you too much to care.” Casey felt tremendous guilt over the way she talked about Evan when she introduced him to her new friends. She didn’t want them to think Evan was stupid for not going to a “normal” school.

“I’m sorry. I already apologised a thousand times, okay? I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. But you have to know how hard it is to even fit in. If it wasn’t for Iz-“. She wanted to finish her sentence and say “Izzie”, but she felt like it was a sore topic to specifically mention. Especially now.

“Yeah, Izzie helped you alright. She’s _real_ good to you. Blamed a running injury on you. Got you to play hooky? Had you drink vodka with her at school, where you could’ve been expelled?”

“Holy shit, why are you sounding like my dad right now?”

“Because she’s not good for you, Case!” He yelled, the tension releasing into the whole restaurant. All the diners looked deeper into their morning papers and smart phones. Casey wondered if he was right. 

“We’re gonna have to ask y’all to quiet down now. Alright, young man?” Embarrassed, Evan immediately stood up to say sorry to the cashier. 

Casey, arms now crossed and defensive, was still waiting to hear if Evan had finished his little monologue.

 

“Who even are you? I can’t keep up, Case.” She was always going somewhere, Evan trailing along behind, only able to be passively supportive. It wasn’t enough anymore. He couldn’t keep up with her, _literally_. He had tried very hard to go on a jog with her once, and he surrendered back to bed after just 15 minutes around the block. 

“Evan...”

 

He slammed a fist on the table with a muffled thud.

“This sucks.”

The waitress shot him an evil look.

“So much.”  
  


“I still care about you.” It was absolutely true. She did. Evan was basically her best friend for the last year. When Clayton left her friendless and bullied, he was always there…especially when Izzie was the most evil to her.

“Sure doesn’t feel like it.” It was Casey’s turn to pout. He rubbed his temples, and after five minutes of what seemed like a internal debate, he finally declared something.

“Casey...of course I care too. But I think I need to get as far away from you as possible right now.” As he got up to leave, the waitress brought them their orders.

“Can I get my eggs and bacon to go please?” He said it as if it didn’t matter. The waitress, who was about ready to sneeze in his food, saw how broken hearted this boy was. She immediately replied kindly, “Of course darling.”  
  


He left with his doggy bag and his dignity in tact, and a devastated Casey sat in the booth without touching her meal. You did the right thing, she kept thinking to herself. _You did the right thing._  
  
She was gonna miss him. His smell. His smile. His warmth. The laughs and the jokes. Even the sex. Yet, she had something better now. It had to be better. But that didn’t make this any easier.


	7. School's Out!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School is over.

Casey moped around for the rest of the weekend, collecting his things and putting them in a sad cardboard box for him to pick up later, feeling overall like an awful human. But Izzie made everything a little better. She made Casey come to Chuckee Cheese to hang out with siblings at some point, and Casey forgot how much she loved being serenaded by mechanical robots clad in fluorescent fur.

During the last week of school, Casey and Izzie acted as they always did before the rift. They had a run, met up for lunch. They walked the halls together, went to practice. Got competitive, and made fun of each other. Nate's absence only proved to be a bonus. Ever since Izzie broke up with him, he watched them for a distance like Clayton's own version of Edward Cullen. He sulked around the corners of their lockers, glaring with envy at Casey every time she went there to wait for Izzie, but he never dared interact with them. He knew that he was in the wrong.

 _"I knew you two would fall in love."_ Nate's words rang in the back of her head whenever she noticed him staring.

_How did I not see it before?_

Casey started to see how Izzie had always treated her with more care than Nate…and Nate was her boyfriend. She had to wonder when Izzie began to have feelings for her. That first time they connected, Izzie went so far to steal booze from her friend's locker.

Well, Izzie was always a little out there. And that was what Casey had loved so much about her. She was so full of vitality.

The only difference to their dynamic now was that when they were alone, they would be the slightest degree more touchy- knowing looks lingering just the slightest bit longer. Behind locked doors and under tables, they would have stolen kisses and hold hands. Izzie was sleeping over so much that her dad had made a joked, "Izzie staying over so much we should just move her in!"

Casey had neglected to tell her folks about her new relationship, nor to update him on her previous one. Elsa obviously knew what was happening, but made a promise to Casey not to say anything. It was step one to getting her daughter to trust her again.

* * *

Everyone had full-blown senioritis even though the seniors were gone from the hallways. The rising juniors were already starting to act like they owned the school while everyone slowly started to wear their uniforms looser and looser. Casey and Izzie were no exception. They would still go to class, but would spend the entire lesson passing notes and making fun of the teachers. Not that this was an issue - all the teachers were playing movies since there wasn't much point in teaching anything before the summer holidays. It seemed the year was to end without any drama. Until, that is, the last day of school.

After her final class, Casey went by to Izzie's locker and found none other than Nate there, waiting.

"What the hell do you want?"

"Is it true?"

"What?"

"Don't play dumb, Casey. You know what I'm talking about."

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about, and even if I did, I don't think I'd tell you."

"Just tell me. Does Izzie have a new boyfriend?"

Casey had to pause.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Izzie. Is she seeing someone else now? Someone said they saw her with a new guy." He looked desperate.

"Wait. Who said that?"

"Someone from the track team said they saw her the other night, holding hands with someone."

_Fuck. Someone knew. Or did they? Thank the god for hoodies._

"Come on, you're her best friend. You have to know."

"I don't have to tell you anything, Nate. You're a jerk and you almost ruined our friendship."

 _If only he knew._ Technically, he was the reason why they were together now.

"So it's true then!"

"I literally didn't give you an answer." She was already exasperated with his pathetic attempts to grasp at straws. She almost cracked a smile at how absurd the situation was. How much she wanted to blurt out-

_It's me! I'm the new boyfriend. You were right. We fell in love. It took you being a shitty boyfriend for her to figure it she wanted to be with me._

"Just fuck off Nate." He glared menacingly.

"I'm gonna figure it out. And when I do..."

"What? What are you gonna do? Become a creepy stalker? Yeah, cuz that's definitely the way to a girl's heart. Kiss her best friend and then lie about it, and then stalk her when she she breaks up with you. Just knock it off dude. Have some fucking self-respect. If not for you, then for Izzie. If you really liked her in the first place." At that point, the halls were starting to fill with celebrating students, and Nate could only silently seethe. He knew she was right, but that didn't stop him from storming off. A small panic set off in Casey's head. Not long after, Izzie appeared.

"Hey you", she said sweetly into Casey's ear as she went in for a hug.

"I am so glad that school is done." Casey awkwardly patted her on the back, then went to hold her on each shoulder.

"We have to talk." The urgent tone in Casey's voice made Izzie's eyes narrow.

"What's up Newton?" She started to put her books in her locker and gather her things.

In a hushed voice, Casey looked around to see if anyone was in earshot.

"Someone saw us."

"Saw us what?" Izzie didn't seem to understand the magnitude of the statement.

"Apparently someone from the track team saw us holding hands the other night. They thought you have a new boyfriend and now everyone knows and Nate just basically attacked me with questions about if it was true."

Izzie slammed her locker shut.

"Are you for real?"

"Yes, but they don't know it was me. They just think that you have a new boyfriend."

She smirked as she finished gathering her things.

"Wanna go to the pizza place near yours?"


	8. PinG!

On the walk back home, a good distance away from the gates of Clayton Academy, Casey finally blurted out.

"How are you acting so cool about this?" Izzie hooked into Casey's arm as they walked.

"I guess … because the gossip that circulates in this school is hardly ever true, and no one actually believes it cuz we all know it just gives us something to talk about. So long as no one can confirm or deny it, the rumour dies within the day. Plus, no one will even remember since summer is here!" At this, Izzie put her arm around Casey's shoulder, which was still tense.

"But it is true though."

"Yeah, but only if we act like it's a big deal. Besides, even if they did believe it, wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."

"What do you mean?"

"If they think that I have a new boyfriend, then the last thing they'll think is that I have a girlfriend."

Casey stopped in her tracks.

"Am I your girlfriend?" Izzie's cheerfulness was replaced with a flustered reply.

"Shit, sorry. No, you're not, and I don't want you to….I mean, you don't have to be my anything."

 _Ugh._  She said she wanted to take it slow and this was  _so_  not taking it slow. She didn't ever see herself as Izzie's girlfriend and had always felt weird being called that. She wanted them to be Izzie and Newton, just like always. She hated being the "girlfriend". The title had always bugged her.

"Have you ever watched Grey's Anatomy?" Casey replied.

"No…" Izzie was unsure of where she was going with this.

"Okay, so basically in it the main character, Meredith Grey, has a best friend, Cristina, and when Cristina is filling out hospital forms, she has to put someone as an emergency contact. And so she puts Meredith as her emergency contact, which is when she realises that Meredith is the closest and dearest friend, and there's this big gushy scene where Cristina is all 'You're my person', and it's really hard for her to say since Cristina sucks at feelings an-"

"Get to the point!"

"You're my person, Izzie. So, can we just be that?" Though Izzie looked slightly disheartened, she grasped Casey's arm tighter.

"Of course. You're my person too."

* * *

Casey got her dads car and drove it back to the parking lot of the 7-11 where it all started. There was a call for a celebration end-of-the-school-year slurpee. As the two reflected on the unlikeliness of their relationship becoming what it had in the backseat of the car, they laughed and reminisced. Casey was lying on Izzie's lap with her feet out the window.

"Hey. When did you realise?"

"Realise what?"

"That you might like me. Like, feelings for me."

"Honestly...I think I was a bit confused for a while. First, I hated you because I was jealous. You swooped in as this big track star and were this super pretty and tall model who ran faster than me. Then you befriended Nate and I was convinced you were gonna steal him from me."

"HA. He tried to steal me!"

"And then when we were locked in that room, after a few shots of vodka, I thought, 'damn, this Newton girl is actually pretty cool.' And for the briefest moment, I wanted to kiss you, but I just ignored it completely. I blamed it on the alcohol and decided that we were gonna be friends."

"So did I even have a choice in the matter?"

"I guess not. I usually get what I want." Izzie bopped Casey on the nose. She rolled her eyes.

"When you built that blanket fort for me...and you suggested we stay there forever...I actually wanted that. So bad. That's when I knew."

"I knew it!" Casey teased her, and Izzie took the opportunity to tickle her in retaliation.

"NNNNNNggggggg sTop okAY SORRY mErcY!"

"Was I that obvious?"

"I don't know. I'm realising more and more that you treated me really differently...but I thought that was because we clicked so well. And you seemed to like Nate enough."

"You had Evan, and everything was so complicated, so I stayed with him. He wasn't so bad...for the most part. I just feel like.. I've just never felt like boys really understood me. They're just so clueless all the time. Boyfriends kinda just fall into my lap...This is probably the first time where I liked someone who might not like me back."

"How did you know I might ' _no_ t like you back'?"

"I dunno. I have no idea. I figured I might still have a chance. But I knew that you'd still be nice even if it didn't go the way I wanted."

As an afterthought, she added, " _Plus._.. you do have...a look."

"A look?"

"A look!"

"What kind of look?"

"Are you really gonna make me say it?"

"I don't know what look you're talking about so yeah I want you to say it."

"Like, a queer look."

Casey would've been much more offended, were it not that she was currently kinda dating Izzie.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well you wear boy clothes all the time and you don't act like most girls do. I don't know exactly how to explain 're just unconventional. Special." Casey has never felt like a regular girl, and she hated all the dumb gender norms that her parents thankfully had never forced her to adhere to. She pulled the straps on her backpack so it was tight against her back. She felt like a nerd.

"So I pinged on your gaydar." Izzie broke into a grin.

"I'm gonna need to work on that if we are gonna keep this a secret."


	9. "David"

They both agreed they'd have to be more careful, but also that it majorly sucked that they couldn't even hold hands in public.

"Maybe I'll just dress like a boy for most of summer and wear a hoodie. It seemed to work last time."

"You do have more andro clothes... and are taller."

"Ha! You'd definitely date me if I were a boy."

"No...Actually, I don't know. One of the things I like so much about you is because you are a girl."

"Really? I guess I've never considered myself a girl girl."

"But, you are a girl. You're sensitive and protective, albeit, in a kinda rebellious way, but you're soft, Casey. None of that macho bullshit." Their pinkies hooked again.

Suddenly, Casey had an idea.

* * *

When they went back to the Gardner's house, Casey sat Izzie down in front of her closet.

"I have an idea." Izzie was definitely unsure of what she was about to see. Casey starting ruffling about for clothes in her organised mess of a room and pulled out some skinny jeans, a white tank, a baggy t shirt, and a beanie. She put everything on, and tucked all her hair into the hat. When she turned around, she looked pretty much the same, but it was much harder to say whether or not she was a boy or a girl.

"Holy crap." Izzie was flabbergasted. Casey held out her hand to shake Izzie's.

"Hi, I'm 'insert generic boy name here'! I've always liked the name Brett. On second thought, no, that's definitely a douchebag name." As Casey pondered what name would be perfect for her alter ego, Izzie was speechless.

"Damn, Newton. You're hot shit." Casey feigned surprise.

"Are you saying I wasn't hot shit already?" She took a pillow to hit Izzie with it. Izzie definitely felt very confused about how she felt about "Brett".

"Like, different hot shit. Boy hot shit. Oh my god, I am super confused right now." Still quite taken aback, Izzie toppled over into the bed. As she put on a slow song, Casey started talking in a deep voice, which wasn't too hard since she had a pretty low voice already.

"May I have this dance?"

Izzie and Casey were waltzing in the way that people who had no idea what waltzing was, waltzed. Nevertheless, both swayed to the beat. It was difficult not to be all giggly, yet somehow, it felt right.

"So, 'Brett'..." Izzie paused with disgust.

"Do you really have to be called something so 'Ken Doll'y?"

"Nah, I was just joking. Hmm..."

"It can be something super common so no one will be able to figure out who you are."

"Ugh, that's so boring." Izzie pouted.

"FINE." Casey thought about her favourite bands. She'd always liked Kurt Colbain. Or maybe Connor Oberst, of Bright Eyes...David? After Bowie? The gender bending king of the decade?

"What about David. Like, David Bowie."

"Perfect." Izzie went to straighten "David's" shirt and tucked a few stray hairs back into the beanie.

"I didn't want another boyfriend, but this is definitely going to be..interesting if not fun."

"I can be your boifriend with an i." Izzie tiptoed to kiss Casey on the cheek. Then she whispered in her ear. Casey tensed up.

" _She was a sk8er boi, she said to her later boi~_ "

Casey threw a pillow at her, which commenced a full fledged pillow war while slow sentimental jazz played in the background.


	10. A Typical Conclusion

That night, they decided they would try out "David" at the mall. But not the local mall. A small strip mall that was an hour away. Casey wanted to be extra cautious with the trial run. She wore her largest hoodie and put the hood up with a beanie and completed the outfit with grey joggers. What was hilarious to Casey was that she didn't even have to try dressing up this way- it was extremely comfortable and kind of fit her original style anyways...but more dance jock "breakdance bboy" . With Izzie by her side, Casey couldn't help but think that they looked like one of this rapper couples, like Jay-Z and Beyoncé. Casey put on sunglasses and started making rap hands in the mirror.

"You are  _such_  a dork."

"YO YO YO BABE. Whatcha say we skiddaddle outta here."

"Please stop, or we are breaking up right now."

They went to the food court first. On the way from the parking lot, they held hands until where the Hot Dog On A Stick was. A sad pimply teenager was behind the till, looking bored of his mind.

"Welcome to Hot Dog On A Stick. May I take your order sir?"

He was pointedly looking at Casey, who was looking around to see who he was talking to.

"Oh! Me. Yes me, I am a sir. Ahem!" She made her voice deeper.

"I would like the green. Lemonade. A green medium please."

The cashier, who couldn't care less, keyed in the order.

"Is that all?"

"Ah, yes. Wait, no. Sorry." She turned to Izzie.

"It's working! Wait, do you want anything?" She said in a hushed but still very audible voice.

"I'm good."

"That'll be 3.04."

* * *

They walked around in every store, seeing if they'd get any stares. No one seemed to bat an eyelid...except for one very butch lady who worked at the tattoo parlour, but she gave them a massive smile and winked at them. Casey pulled the chords on her hoodie so that only her nose was visible.

"She knows!"

"Yeah, but that's probably because... you know."

"What?"

"She's gay!"

"You think?"

"Oh my god you suck at this!"

"Nuh Uh!"

"This is so ironic that I'm better than you at this."

"No it's not, you're gayer than I am!"

Casey felt instant regret when she saw how all mirth disappeared from Izzie's face and was replaced with worry.

"I know. And I still don't know if I'll ever feel that way about a guy. And there's so much expectation since I look like the straightest girl ever but this is who I am and I don't wanna change."

It was true. Casey thought Izzie would be the last person she would've thought was into girls. But then again, she was pretty oblivious about anyone's sexuality.

" I read all these articles and the queer community looks so scary and I don't think I'd fit it either and it's all just fucking terrifying." Izzie flashed back to a question that her aunties would keep telling: "Such a pretty girl like you is bound to be scooped up by a handsome fella!" To all the girls on the track team gushing about boys, and how her opinion seemed to matter the most. She lied so many about her opinions towards sex and love that she didn't really know how she felt. She just knew what everyone expected her to feel, and it was exhausting.

"Hey..." Casey our a consoling arm around her. "You don't need to be anyone but you. Fuck everyone. They can ...er, suck a bag of dicks. And and and, why be sad? We are literally playing it straight right now for - safety reasons. Like, we are literally pretending to be a boy and a girl right now." Izzie's face cracked into a small grin.

"I mean, if you wanted to look more gay, I dunno, wear more flannel or dye your hair blue, I don't know." Casey was thinking how the lady at that tattoo parlour dressed.

"An undercut? A middle nose ring thing?"

"Are you just describing that tattoo lady we just saw?"

"What? She was obviously..thingy, and we both knew it for some reason."

"Hmmm...maybe you're right."

By the end of the trial, Izzie had bought a fake septum ring, hair bleach, and 'David' invested in the baggiest sweat pants she had ever seen (They were only $5 at the Goodwill, after all.) When they got home, Izzie put in her fake piercing, and borrowed one of Casey's Hawaiian man tourist shirts and snapbacks.

"How do I look?" Izzie looked obviously uncomfortable, but she was trying to pass it off as a joke.

"You look super gay." Casey gave her a thumbs up.

 _Ugh._  Izzie hated that. The description was somehow an insult, yet she didn't know why. Casey saw the frustration in her eyes.

"Take it off. You hate this." Izzie gladly stripped off and put back her outfit- daisy dukes and a leather crop jacket.

"It's just not your thing. Me, on the other hand..." Casey put on the outfit and looked like herself. She held herself so naturally. Izzie envied Casey for a moment before she went into Casey's closet in search for something.

"Here. Put this on." Izzie had fished out a long flowery mauve dress. It clearly had never been worn.

"Uh oh."

Casey stood in front of the mirror, face frowning like a unhappy 5 year old. Her arms were suddenly rigid and she crossed her arms with irk.

"Can I take it off now?"

"No, we have to accessorise!"

Izzie spent a good hour doing makeup and hair. The end product was a grumpy but very feminine and elegant Casey.

"God, it feels like there's a layer of thick powder on my face."

"There is."

"Is this the kind of shit that I have to wear to prom?"

"'Afraid so, Newton, but you look beautiful, if I do say so myself." Izzie whipped her phone out to take a selfie with the new glamorous Casey. Immediately afterwards, Casey took a massive wad of makeup remover strips to undo the damage. Izzie could only laugh, knowing that it was gonna be the first and only time she would ever see Casey wear that dress.

* * *

The summer holidays started smoothly. Sam was preparing to go to university by going through his required reading for each of the courses he was going to take.

"You know that no one actually reads those, right bud?" Doug tried to calm Sam's summer study frenzy. Elsa had tried to get in Sam's good graces by buying him some of the textbooks he needed for class.

"If it wasn't required, why did they put it on the required reading list? If it was optional, it would be under the optional list. Why would they do that if no one reads it anyways? Plus this stuff is great. It's all about the marine life that we're going to look at. Why wouldn't anyone want to read this?"

Casey decided that this summer she was going to read up more about potential scholarships she could apply for, but instead kicked off her vacation by lounging around and learning to play Steven Universe songs on the ukelele. After a month, Evan eventually texted Casey a funny dog meme, which she had interpreted as a sign of forgiveness. They still hadn't met up, but they were sending cute animal photos, so that couldn't be a bad sign. Izzie had taken up shifts at the local frozen yogurt shop, "Dairy Air", so Casey was getting her fill of free froyo since she pretty much went there to keep her company. The kids at Clayton seemed to all be away at their summer villas in various parts of Europe, which was sort of a relief.

Casey eventually told her family how she broke up with Evan over dinner after her dad had asked why he hadn't seen him around in a while.

"That's a shame...Evan was a nice guy."

"Dad, can you not!"

"Okay, okay! Jeez...Well, you look all loved up though! What, you got a new boyfriend already?"

"Not exactly." After a flurry of internal debate, Casey finally said it.

"I'm with Izzie."

"Yeah you're with her all the time."

"No, like, I am dating Izzie. We are dating. She's kind of my girlfriend. Like, actual girlfriend."

Obviously surprised, Casey appreciated how Doug tried to hide it.

"Oh. Good for you honey. She's a lovely girl."

Even though she had known they wouldn't take issue with it, it felt as though a huge physical weight had been lifted from her chest. Suddenly, she felt sad that Izzie had to keep something like this, something worth celebrating, all secret.

"But don't tell anyone. Izzie's folks are...not as great as you guys."

"Of course. It's nobody's business but yours." Doug continued to pick at the last of his peas. As Sam did indeed, launch into a rant about how homosexuality is really common in the animal kingdom (as Casey had predicted). He also mentioned abruptly that "Izzie's cool", and then said nothing else about it.

Casey wondered how long she would have to be "David", and how long they would be together. She never used to think so much about relationships and the future, but now that she had something to lose, the fear of losing that something preoccupied her mind. She worried what would happen if Izzie's family found out, and what people at school would say.  _Would people treat her any differently? Would she get called "dyke" in the hallways? Was there even a pride in their town? Who else was gay in their school?_  She'd pour over how different it was to date a girl, and how much more emotional it was. Izzie seemed to need constant reassurance, and could get rather clingy if Casey made other plans without telling her about them first. Casey finally mustered up the tolerance to talk to her mom about it all and she said that "Whatever happens, we are here for you. And we are here for Izzie too." After that, she wasn't so mad at her mom anymore. Casey was indulging in hew newfound queerness, finding jokes and relatable experiences that she didn't even realise were part of this LGBT+ experience. What was scary about all this was reading about the experiences of people coming out, and how some stories were life-affirming and uplifting, or would go really badly and end in suicide and homelessness. But overall, what was comforting about it all was that the message was this: **it gets better**. And Casey believed it. A hundred percent. 

 

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_Thank you for reading this fanfic. I may continue it depending on how I feel or whatever other creative idea happens upon me, but I wanted to end it on a super cheesy and happy and optimistic note in case it doesn't get renewed for a season 3. This is probably the most realistic ending I could've imagined for them. Please like and leave a review!_


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